So we got through the holidays...again. Every year, I love the cards, all the lights and seeing “some” loved ones, yet I struggle with the money, getting presents and the status conscience-commerce aspects.
I know I am not alone.
I always get depressed at Christmas. It just seems mostly in-authentic.
I hate an expectation.
I find myself thinking, “oh shit, I gotta buy what…and go where, before the 24th?
Now don’t get me wrong. It is a time to cherish those you love. If you feel that gift in your heart and you got the money… get it, send it and give, give give.
If you love writing those cards, all the better!
For me, I find I just shut down. Every year, I am later and later with sending gifts, sending cards, doing anything. Those I see as straight lines, I feel a vibe of…
-Sigh. Pat on the head. Take care of yourself, dear. It will be ok.-
Like some day, I will get on the program. Or they offer silence.
This year is especially tough. I lost a family member. My dog, Jujubi, aka ceecee. The funny thing is, I realize. She was the last in a line of those I want to focus my energy on, buddies.
In 2014, I lost my buddy mother, in 2017 my dog Toby (ceecee’s husband), now in 2019, her.
Don’t even mention, the loss of our heroes from the year 2016 till now. You see, I have the belief that, like all those I admire, have admired, unless you are giving to others, what's the point?
I would lose a buddy, but I had another and I would focus on them.
And I did, each time. It helped me through my grief.
I have gotten to a place (another post) which I cannot give physically as before. I must have boundaries to be healthy.
And I got this, I am stronger than most. I am a squiggly…I bend.
To honor my squiggly self, I am declaring December 25 = Wish-mas, from now on.
A day where you make a wish…then the rest of the year if someone loves you, they make that wish happen and vice versa.
If you have eleven wishes, more time to find a way to fulfill.
Or they can carry over. :)
I wish in 2020 that we elect a leader who shifts the world toward a clean fuel future.
What are you going to wish and make happen in the next year?
Love to write, laugh, be weird, but hate to cook and be an expectation.